His Plans Over My Plans

If you had asked me what my dreams were four years ago I would have told you something along the lines of “to play volleyball at a D1 school!” The school I would dream about playing for the most was Baylor, and four years have continued to go by while Baylor grew out of sight. It truly is crazy how things change! My first goal towards this dream was to make Varsity as a freshmen in which I was able to accomplish. My second goal was to continue playing club to gain more experience and film to send out to colleges. My freshmen year club season led to burn out on the court, and following my freshman season on Varsity I became connected to a youth group with amazing fellowship where I continued really living in relationship with the Lord. As I was heading into my Sophomore year of high school while considering whether I should play club or not I felt it in my heart to take the year off of club and focus on the Lord. This was so that I would be able to continue attending community with fellowship, and not be all consumed by volleyball. After making the decision to take one year off from club I told several people in my life that summer “if it is in the Lords will for me to play volleyball in college He will open the door and guide me there.” I continued with school seasons and approaching my junior year club season I signed a contract eager to make film and start my recruiting process. Shortly after connecting with my team and opening my heart up to what volleyball would be in the future I headed into a rivalry home game and came out of it with a torn ACL. I have played several sports all my life so this was heartbreaking as I was not only out a volleyball season for recruiting, but also out of my other two sports seasons for the year. I had plans for junior year, but the Lord had different ones. The Lord’s ways are higher. 

So how did I react? 

My initial response was tears and self assurance. The night of my injury I knew something had happened that would take me out for a long time, but I had no idea how that could change the course of my plans so I had a sense of calmness in my heart. However, I saw a doctor right away who predicted that I most likely tore my ACL and would need surgery, so the tears continued to flow. The following evening I received my MRI results and I had the choice to attend youth group that night or be alone in the grieving of the situation. In Romans 12:15 Paul calls us to have community in rejoicing and in times of mourning, so I chose to go to youth group that night and be in community.  As I was sitting during worship the song “Give Me Jesus” came on and specific lyrics stood out to me that allowed me to grieve with the Lord, but also gave me so much peace within my situation. The specific lyrics that stood out to me are “I don’t need anyone else, I don’t need anything else because you are my one thing.” During my time of crying out to the Lord through these lyrics I knew Jesus was all that I needed. I knew the year was going to be hard because of this event and the recovery would be a journey, but I put my trust in God knowing that I had to look at him and keep him as my foundation the whole time.  His plans are always higher. 

How does this relate to what I am currently doing in life? 

I continuously grew closer to the Lord throughout the time of my injury and recovery. The Lord held my heart throughout my junior year for all the firsts of me sitting on the bench, and he also allowed me to continue experiencing his goodness. As I was approaching senior year my heart was fully set on the Lord. My recovery took way longer than the average person recovers, and this came with more heartbreak then I would have ever imagined I would hold within the athletic chapter of my life. During this time of injury and recovery I was also able to grow a passion for Nutrition/Dietetics on the sports court. I grew a passion for other injured athletes to know that their identity will always come from Christ. I also grew a passion for athletes to understand how important their day to day diet is as they have vigorous practices, long travel days, and many game days. The Lord held my heart during my senior year as I made it back to volleyball in just enough time to get four weeks of playing time. I was also able to participate in basketball again, and a very healing tennis season. At this point, volleyball slowly grew out of the picture but the “college experience” was still in my plans. I would have never imagined myself serving the Lord while studying in Europe my first semester of college. This came about five weeks out from my graduation due to the Lord opening the door to the World Race – Study Abroad Semester trip. I allowed him to guide me into this decision and completely guide the course of my life as I was headed into adulthood. Now that I am officially on the field my heart is overjoyed with peace, joy, and excitement for how the Lord will guide me. I am beyond excited as well as expectant to see what the Lord has in store for me during this time. It is Gods faithfulness that I am able to give my first fruits to the Lord and serve him through this opportunity over seas. This is the first semester of me not playing volleyball in the fall, but there is peace in my heart because his hand is over my life. The Lord may open that door back up, but for now I am staying faithful in growing closer to him, learning his voice, and serving his people. Praise God for his goodness! He knew this is where I would end up the whole time, and I praise him for that! His ways are always higher, allow him to guide the course of your life.